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Definition no. 13

Sep 11 2014

Definition no. 13


Happiness is a cock!

A very particular cock which would drive us crazy every summer night around 4am, and 6am, and 2pm and 4pm and 6pm and 8pm and again at 4am! For it is a devoted light warrior which takes its job seriously and wakes us up from the dead at every inimaginable hour of the day or of the night.

One peaceful September Sunday morning….

The kids are too bored to do anything else but watch TV for hours in a  row, fighting from time to time, so that they would keep each other busy.
Dad is sneaking out from the living room to his study. He is already imagining himself dropping heavily in his chair, turning around a few times, tickling the keyboard – just for fun – before he finally choses his favourite book to devour.
Mom is washing her hair. Soon she will be giving orders to everybody in the household, including the dog, the cat and the fish.
“Enjoy the peace!” dad mumbles to himself. He sighs and pushes the glasses on his nose.

“Moooooom, daaaaad! We have a cock!”
“Mooooomieeeeeeeeeeeee, we have a cock! Here, here!”

Dad raises his head. The voices reach to him, to some remote spot of his conciousness. He struggles to understand what the kids, all three of them, jumping around the sofa, are trying to explain. They are suddleny so much alive, they look happy!

The eldest rushes to the bathroom, knocks at the door and shouts from the bottom of his lungs: “Mom we have a cock! Come out, quickly!” I hear him dashing to the sofa and jumping on it. It screaches from all its bindings.

“Leave me alone!” I curse between my teeth, head bent over the edge of the bath tub. I grab a towel, wrap it around my head. I open the door and I freeze: in the middle of my saloon, walking proudly, making strange sounds, The Cock!

“I hate you, from the deepest of my heart “- I think in despair before I start to scream crazily and throw myself on the same sofa as the kids did. I squeak along with them. My terror turns into a nightmare.

Dad corners the beast, pushes it to one side of the kitchen. It gets stuck.
I look for the cat, I look for the dog. None to be seen! “I will kick them out of the house, ignorant pets!” – I think to myself as I keep yelling so hard that I can barely understand my thoughts.

The kids are literally rolling on the floor with laughter. I wonder whether they are making fun of me. I don’t care. I want the horrible bird out of the house.
The cock makes it to the terrace door. It flies over the hedge to the neighbours’ yard.
I am safe. The kids are still laughing with all their souls.

At 6pm I hear the enemy from distance. “I wish you were soup!”
The door bell rings. I open.
“Do you happen to have a cock?” the man asks me on a low voice.
My face illuminates with joy.
“No, I don’t, but I have a bottle of wine that would prefectly marry it in case you decided to make it a steak! Or maybe Coq-au-vin?”
The man smiles back: “I will have to take a number, my 4 cats get priority!”
I grin with satisfaction. I will soon be revenged!

4am: Coockle-doodle-doooo! I smile in my sleep and turn on the other side.

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