03 April 2016

Sunday, 10 o’clock.

I drag myself out of bed. It’s late, so late!

I rush downstairs. The kids are watching TV, my husband is working concentrated on his

electronic bugs and threads. He doesn’t even hear me. The dog barks happily on her mat. She’s

always so happy to see me.

“I am late”, a voice in my head keeps repeating somewhere at the back of my head.

“Ha, ha ha, you are late, lazy one!”

Nobody seems to care about me being late. The dog licks my face and then barks loudly in my

ear.

I teleport myself to the bathroom. ‘I am so late!’

This continuous self-nagging gets to my nerves.

For years on row, since we got kids – that is 10 at least – I have never been so late! I could

indulge until 9 o’clock, but never 10. How shameful is this.

I make myself a coffee and while the machine is warming up I start cleaning after the boys. This

would not have happened if I were here earlier this morning in order to prevent this mess.

I put the cutlery in the dishwasher, I grab the clothes from the living room floor and I literally

throw them in the washing machine. I take care of the rests of the breakfast on the kitchen table.

My coffee is ready. It’s too hot. This leaves me some time to grab the books on the table and put

them back on the library shelves.

“Mom! moooooom!” I don’t have time to answer… I was so late!

The boys are shouting at me from the top of the stairs:

“Mom, can we go to the zoo?”

“It’s too late! The house looks like it exploded, I need to prepare lunch!” and I mumbled to myself

“I am so late”.

My husband stands in the frame of the kitchen door. He watches me silently.

I stop for another sip of coffee and I check my Facebook. It takes too much time to open the

pages. The battery is running flat.

“I am so freaking late!”

“Late for what?” he asked me amused.

“For…”

Surprisingly enough I could not remember why all the hurry, what I was so upset about at 10 am

on a Sunday morning. All I did was oversleeping. And again… when does somebody sleep too

much?

I looked at him annoyingly confused.

I could not find a “reasonable reason” to explain my rush.

And then it hit me… being up early every single day, ready to gear, like old Russian soldiers,

keeping the eyes in front of me, ignoring any side sight that might disturb me from doing what

one needs to do in order to run the household efficiently, take care of the kids, be a wife and an

entrepreneur, going for my goals has thrown me out of balance.

The rush became a second nature to the point that sleeping late on a Sunday morning turned

into an unexpected element of surprise. Comfortable sleep turned into an uncomfortable step out

of the comfort zone.

He holds me into his arms. It’s OK to sleep late. It’s OK to take a break. It’s OK to listen to your

body when your mind is pushing for more action.

We went to the zoo, I have not prepared lunch. I enjoyed a sunny lazy afternoon with sunglasses

on my nose and a cup of coffee on a terrace in the park.

Light and Love come to you in different shades and shapes… Enjoy them!