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Love at 220V or The Importance of Personal Boundaries

Love at 220V or The Importance of Personal Boundaries


There’s little in this world that makes me as happy as when I see horses enjoy themselves, running wild and carefree.

Well, maybe touching them and feeling their soft noses while huffing and puffing would be another appropriate example.

I was granted the pleasure of seeing horses on my way to a workshop I was attending to last Sunday and I remember telling myself: ‘Oh, how beautiful! I would so much love to touch them!’

A bit later in the day, during one of the breaks, another workshop participant had made her way towards the fence of the parcel where the horses seemed to wait for us to shower them with our attention. Big, strong, beautiful and reassured, they approached the thin metallic fence, keeping a safe distance between us. One, in particular, appeared to be more audacious and came closer, within hand reach. Pure delight. Full of enthusiasm, laughing loudly like a child receiving a Christmas present I leaned over to caresse it. Velvet under my fingers…

220V in my chest. One discharge, from heart to toe, like thunder, shaking my ground, throwing me away from the horse. Totally confused, in shock and disbelief  I tried to regain my balance and understand what had just happened. One second earlier I was high with joy, one second after I was projected against the bushes behind. I looked at the horse, it turned its head. My friend kept talking to the horse while kissing it on its forehead. Well, you can call it the advantage of being 15cm taller than I was. Soon it was time to join the class again.

I completely forgot about the incident until later in the evening. I was resting with my back on the floor, exchanging insights with my left hand side workshop partner. She felt uneasy as the evening was growing into the night. The energies were not working with her. She ‘couldn’t’, she ‘wouldn’t’, nothing flew according to her expectations. I took a deep breath and I asked ‘What if all this is a lesson in letting go? What if you looked at what works and what a great learning opportunity this is?’ I was actually reflecting in loud voice with my eyes closed when all of a sudden, with a violent burst of frustration she slapped me on my belly: ‘You don’t have to know everything, all the time!’ She stood up and she left.

A second shock, this time in my solar plexus. I was getting annoyed. Why was this happening? What was the lesson in it all? First the horse, second the lady.

You know, 3 is a charm!

As the evening was about to end, we were busy with one last exercise of trance journey. It felt like I was already flying in another world high above – ahead of time – when the drumming stopped, the chanting ceased and I heard: ‘Please have a seat and prepare yourself for the journey!’ A terrible headache got hold of my had, squeezing my forehead and lifting it up in a painful sensation. My third eye felt its full blow.

Once in my B&B room, away from the crowd I took a few moments to rewind my day asking myself what was there for me to take from the three incidents. I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of my recalling exercise. As if someone had lifted a veil from my eyes I woke up in the morning with one word dancing in my head: boundaries.

I got to experience what the meaning of boundaries was. I crossed them when I enthusiastically threw myself across the fence to touch the horse. They were there and I disregarded them and they became wild once I crossed them over. While resting on my back I was not guarding my own boundaries, neither did I send the ‘watch out’ signals to the world around me about my safe distance. I invited a violent intrusion by not being clear to where my limits were laid. The last blow came from not respecting my own boundaries, pushing too far into my resources I ended up with a bit roasted brain.

The moral: the boundaries are your personal limits. Watch them carefully, express them clearly and respect them. Teach the others to respect them either. Respect the personal boundaries of other people. Does this mean that Im not going to touch horses ever again? No! It means I’m going to look for signs telling me the safe distance. Does it mean that I am never going to lay on my back with the eyes closed in the presence of other people? No. It means I will be alert to what my personal space is and how inviting it seems for others. Does it mean I’m never going to suddenly interrupt my meditations or journeys? No. It means I am going to listen to my body to when I reached my limits.

What about your personal boundaries? Are they clear to you and to the people around you? How do you mark them? What do you do about the intruders? How do you react? Are you crossing over other peoples’ boundaries? Are you aware of them? I’d be curious to know your stories. I invite you to leave your comments below.


Love at 220V

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